No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
