yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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