Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
