My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
