The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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