what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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