I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize