Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Randomize
