I accidentally burped into my bong.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
