You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
