Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
