Having a random hookup so left but love u
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
