I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
