can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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