So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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