Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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