We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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