I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
