so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm getting married
To pizza
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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