i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
