we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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