Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
