Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
