did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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