Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize