apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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