u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize