The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
40s are totally the cure
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
