Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize