if you like me you must not know who I am
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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