I cannot find my penis.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
