therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
