Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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