On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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