the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
