I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
