And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
