I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
