is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
