You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
