just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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