Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
