OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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