when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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