great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize