To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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