I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
