Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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