i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
