I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
