Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
