Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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