and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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