I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
