Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
