I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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